|
amanda_mariex3
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Amanda Marie<33
Birthday: 8/29/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: i like Late nights with your best friend, car rides with no point or destination. Dreams about the people you care most about and laughs you hope to have again. The stars late at night The mornings where you remember nothing and the ones where you remember it all to well. The flip flops and a tan, while swimming here or there. The beach with friends and family and the vacations you all shared. Being with your best friend and having funn no matter what crazy thing you may encounter. and thats alot of crazy things
Occupation: Hatfield Athletic Club
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  hiyaimamandax3
Member Since:
3/8/2005
|
|
| Time to start using this for journaling..
So On November 25th i started my path into recovery. It was my first day at Renfrew and I was having so many feelings of anxiety. Little did i know i was coming in on a challenge day. Anyways, it's one week into it now and I am started to notice changes.. slight changes atleast. I'm learning to tell myself no and i'm able to keep myself occupied so i don't head for the cabinets right away. I'm pretty sure the scale has scared me enough and i just want to see the weight go down then settle where it's supposed to. i'm tired of having this thing control me. im so frustrated with myself for letting it get to this point. i should have gotten help in the summer when i was anorexic but noooo i refused tog o into treatment because did i really want to get better ? naaaaah i just wanted to fool everyone into thinking that. so i shoved my face with food. then it got to the point where i gained 30 pounds in 3 months... ridiculous... disgusting.. i should have gotten help when i needed it. but atleast im here now hopefully they'll teach me a little bit about self confidence and self reliance. i need to elarn to trust my mind over my body. my body cannot be trusted. that's all i have for now though.
-ak | | |
| I look into your eyes I see a different kinda love
One that I can’t get enough of
I see a future you don’t quite have a hold on
But who am I to talk on that
Our eyes met and I could see
You were out of my league
But god, god’s playing on a different team
I wanna be your star
Falling from the sky
I wanna be the one that puts that sparkle in your eye
The one that made me fall so hard for you
and baby I don't wanna get back up
baby I don't wanna get back up
Cause I've been through this before | | |
| Mayday, Mayday, Im going to crash
I cant pull myself Up, no I wont last
Ive fallen off my feet onto the ground
youve abandoned me, nowhere to be found(
you are
my, heartbeat, and your my, baby
your all i ever wanted
and your exactly what i need
your the only thing that keeps me going
you are my waterfall
and our love wont stop overflowing
take my hand
i wont ever let you go
Two Hearts, one beat
Four Lungs, one breathe
Ive got a secret under my chest
That says:
I need you to breathe. | | |
| you were my everything but now i'm older and i'm wiser
and he's looking for another girl and soon he's gonna find her
leave him he's already starting to ignore you
there is a better guy and he wrote this song for
your superkalafragelisticexpialadociously cute
sweeter than a 12 pack of juicy fruit
surreal, but i know this isnt a dream
we go good together just like coffee and cream
I'll FedEx you my love,
I hope you sign for my heart,
let's make this blank easel our work of art
saving the worlds not enough
maybe if i knew a little more about love
then i could finally find who i am
and then you'll agree
theres more to me than what you see
Forget it; it's not even true.
The only thing I want it to forget about you.
I'm losing the heart
To do what I must do
Cry me a river, baby.
I've cried a flood over you.
you found comfort with my distance, but you never let me stray out of your view.
who really needs the past
with the allure of something new?
So, we split apart at last
I went back to the places that I knew
before you.
I’m tired of the games
You play
You’re leading me on
This is the last time
I’ll fall
For you
You just couldn’t play your part
Now you’ll never know
how much
I really loved you
But now I’m done and gone
That’s too bad
For you
Your the only girl who's made my heart beat that fast
But only longer could i wished that this would of lasted
Because there is no better than me and you together
Your mind changes like the leaves
You come and go like a summer breeze
I need to know can we be together
I need something more certain than the weather...
| | |
| letting go of the one person that means the most to me had to of been the most difficult thing i've ever had to do. it was for his own good. i know it hurt him, it hurts me too. but i was just another stress to had on his shoulders. he was so unsure about us.. with him going off to college it would have never worked. i think in the back of his mind he wanted this so i felt the need to do it, even though this truely isn't what i wanted. what's meant to be will always find its way. so if we really were meant for eachother some day we'll find a way to make things perfect and turn our world in to something. it's safe to say it's reallly him that keeps me alive. | | |
|
